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Tuesday, April 19, 2022

Sitting Here

11:16 PM | Edit Post
Sitting here letting my mind wander tonight.
Down pathways and through doors.
Thoughts unsettled and unresolved are speaking.
I feel conflicted within myself. Like I 
don't know what to trust friendship wise.
Part of me says its genuine but part of me
questions a lot. Certain things don't add up - 
things I can't reason away as too many question marks.
But the heart is good I know. 
Its the words I don't always trust.
Doubting if I wish to do things now.
Things I enjoy & that are wonderful for me.
I don't let people close. And I fear if I question too
much I'll lose this & be proven a fool. 
A fool for letting someone close again.
Yet, I don't necessarily feel equal in footing either.
At times I feel I am to only be the "ugly" one.
I struggle with what to do. I struggle to know
if its just me or if there is validity to my feelings.
Am I the only one who feels this way or sees this?
Or is there more to all of this? 
We are both broken in our own ways.
Is it the person's own way of coping?
I don't know. Answers evade & am
left with uncertainty. 
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