Today is not an okay day. No its a 

very hard day for me. People checking if I am 

okay or what's going on with me.

 I should reply but I can't bring 

myself to. Just like I can't bring myself

to do just about anything right now.

Too consumed by sadness & emotion.

They have taken my smile & right now

most of my motivation. Am losing my

interest in things or at least right now I am.

I've enjoyed PSP last couple days but 

right now, I just can't do it. I try to seek

out help but am getting nothing accomplished

on that avenue. It's so hard to find a therapist

right now that I can see. I just want to feel

better and to be myself. I'm losing her

to sadness, numbness & maybe a bit of  emptiness. 

Why? That is not a very clear answer at all.

No it's a very muddy answer. Simple answer

is nothing did this but yet everything has 

lead up to this. & I don't know how to 

get through it all either. Logically I know 

I need help & I am trying to get it. But I can't

pull myself out of this emotional hell either.

Depression does that to a person.